"When I return to Scripture, it steadies me. It anchors my identity and calms my emotions."
~ Lorrie L. Drennon, Holy Voids
There is a specific kind of exhaustion that only happens to people who are trying very, very hard to be "good."
You know the feeling. You wake up, and before your feet even hit the floor, the mental checklist begins. You have to get through your Bible reading plan. You have to spend fifteen minutes in prayer. You have to journal your gratitudes. You have to make sure your attitude is pleasant for your family and your coworkers. By 8:00 AM, you have already turned your relationship with God into a high-stakes performance review.
We call it a "Quiet Time," but for many of us, it is anything but quiet. It is loud with the noise of our own effort. It is crowded with the pressure to perform. We have professionalized our presence with God. We have taken the most intimate, sacred parts of our lives and turned them into a series of tasks to be managed, measured, and checked off.
If your spiritual life feels like just another set of chores on a never-ending to-do list, I want to tell you something that might feel a little scandalous: You have likely traded God’s power for your own discipline.
It is time to stop focusing so much on "doing right" and start focusing on "being dependent."
The "Good Christian" Trap
The most difficult trap to escape is the one built out of good intentions. In my own life, I have spent decades surrounded by godly people, immersed in Scripture, and dedicated to the work of the church. These are beautiful things. But there is a subtle, dangerous shift that happens when we begin to rely on our spiritual habits to give us a sense of security instead of relying on the God behind the habits.
We start to believe that if we check all the boxes, we are safe. We believe that if we perform well, God is pleased, and if we fail our checklist, He is disappointed. This is the "Good Christian" trap. It whispers that your standing with the Creator is based on your latest performance rather than His finished work.
When we fall into this trap, we become professionals at spiritual activities but amateurs at actual intimacy. We know how to speak the language, how to lead the meetings, and how to maintain the appearance of growth. But in the quiet moments, we feel a staggering lack of connection. We are doing all the "right" things, yet we feel zero vitality.
The reason for this is simple: discipline is a wonderful tool, but it is a terrible savior. Your willpower was never designed to sustain your soul. Only Presence can do that.
From the Checklist to the Chair
I remember a season in my own life where the weight of "doing" nearly crushed me. I was teaching, serving, and managing a thousand spiritual expectations. I was wearing the "Armor of God" as if it were a costume I had to keep polished for the world to see, rather than a defense I was meant to hide behind.
In my writing, I confess that I had twisted my habits into a performance. I was so focused on the act of being a Christian that I had forgotten how to simply be a child of God. I was like a soldier standing guard in a fortress, terrified that if I blinked, the whole thing would come crashing down. I was relying on my own stamina to keep the peace.
But the Armor of God, which we explore deeply in Chapter 1, isn't about our strength. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation—these aren't things we manufacture. They are things we receive.
When we move from performance to presence, the goal of our morning changes. We no longer sit in that chair to finish a chapter or complete a prayer list so we can feel better about ourselves. We sit in that chair because we are desperate for a Life that is not our own. We stop trying to "get through" the Bible and start letting the Spirit get through to us.
The Power of Being Dependent
The world tells us that dependence is weakness. It tells us that we should be self-sufficient, self-optimized, and self-made. But the Kingdom of God tells us that dependence is our greatest strength.
When you are performing, you are constantly checking your own pulse. How am I doing? Am I growing? Am I better than I was yesterday? This self-focus is exhausting. It keeps your eyes locked on your own hands.
When you are being dependent, your eyes are locked on His face. You acknowledge that apart from Him, you truly can do nothing. You stop trying to manufacture a "good day" and start asking Him to live His life through yours. This is where the heavy lifting ends and the true transformation begins.
Holiness isn't something you achieve by trying harder; it is something that happens to you as you spend time in the presence of the Holy One. You don't have to professionalize your time with Him. You don't have to come with a polished script or a perfect record. You just have to come.
If you are tired of the checklist, I want to invite you to do something radical tomorrow morning. Leave the list in the drawer. Don't worry about the plan for a moment. Just sit. Admit your exhaustion. Tell Him that you’ve been trying to do His job for Him. And then, simply be there.
Are You Ready to Resign from the Performance?
The "Quiet Time" checklist was never meant to be a prison. It was meant to be a doorway. If you’ve been standing in the doorway but never actually entering the room, it’s time to change your approach.
In my book, Holy Voids, we pull back the curtain on the "Good Christian" trap. We talk about the raw, honest process of moving away from religious performance and toward a life of genuine, dependent presence. We look at how to stop using God's Word as a textbook to be mastered and start using it as an anchor to be held.
If you are ready to trade your professionalized spiritual life for a real, breathing connection with your Creator, I invite you to join me on this journey.
To explore how to let go of the pressure and find rest in His presence, you can pre-order Holy Voids today or join our waitlist for the official launch. Let’s stop doing right in our own strength and start being dependent together.
For more details about the book and the author, visit: authorlorriedrennon.com
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